Les Misèrviews
by I'mBasicallyEnjolras
Summary: Interview sessions with your favorite Les Mis characters! My first story, so don't hate, please! Send in the questions we all know you're dying to ask... Come on, if you're in this section, reading Les Mis fanfic, then you've got to have at least one question! SEND IT IN! Disclaimer:"I, Aaron, do not own any of the Les Misèrables characters, or Les Misèrables itself"
1. Chapter 1

"Welcome, all, to Asher-Aaron's Les Misèrviews! Interviews with your favorite Les Misèrables characters will begin after a quick message from our sponsor, but first, let's say hello to our guests!

You know him as 24601, first up is Jean Valjean!

Next we'll speak to one of our favorite mothers in literature- Fantine!

Then we'll speak to the revolutionary leader Enjolras alongside Les Amis de l'ABC!

After that, we'll speak to the love-sick Marius Pontmercy, who will be followed by our favorite leading ladies- the lovely Èponine Thènardier and the, um... Wonderfully blonde Cosette Pontmercy!

Then we'll speak to the very 'classy' Thènardiers and the amazing Gavroche!

And the final interview of the night will be Bishop Myriel!

Send in your questions quickly, and perhaps you'll hear them answered live by your favorite characters!

That's it for now, folks! We'll be right back with Les Misèrviews!"

**_(It's short, poorly written, and boring, but this is just an intro chapter; I promise they'll get better and longer very shortly! R&R! I want your questions! Come on, I know you ALL are dying to ask Enjolras, Èp, the Les Amis, or the Thènardiers a question! Or maybe you just want to ask why Cosette and Marius are so _****_stupid... It's up to you what you ask... But come on- you know you want to!_**

**_-Aaron)_**


	2. Les Amis de l'ABC (Part One)

**Hi all! thanks for your feedback! I loved all of it! Here's the first real chapter! R&R and send in more questions! Thanks to all who submitted questions and a special thanks to LittlePeopleKnow for this chapter's questions! Don't worry though, I'll get to all of the questions eventually and I'm nowhere near done with the Amis yet! I'll apologize now for any names that haven't been correctly spelled, but after a certain amount of time autocorrect bugged me, so I just it do what it wanted... Just figured I'd warn you... **

**Enjoy, review, and send in more questions!**

**-Aaron**

Courf: we're going first. Sorry Val... um...Cosette's dad! But it's time for the Amis!

Valjean: it's my turn, so no, I'm going now.

Joly: I'm not afraid to call Javert...

Valjean: go right ahead! Take your time!

Jehan: thank you, monsieur!

Grant: yo! Pretty boy; there's been a change in the schedule. We're up first... Don't argue- you're completely outnumbered.

Aaron: Fine... Doesn't bother me. First question...to Courfeyrac: Would you ever settle down with one girl?

Courf: are you serious?

A: yes. It was the question.

Courf: you're kidding, right?

A: no, I'm just asking the question.

Courf: you have to be joking!

Grant: I'll answer the question!

A: R, are you sober?

Grant: What do you think, pretty boy?

A: why do you keep calling me that?!

Grant: don't worry, I call Enjy over there the same nickname

A: *sigh* so the question...

Grant: right! Courf will never settle down 'cause he has commitment issues! Ha!

A: (raising eyebrow) commitment issues?

Courf: that's a lie! I do not!

Combeferre: well, actually... It does seem legitimate...

Grant: see! The smart one agrees with me! I win... Moving on!

Courf: no! We're not moving on until everyone knows that I don't have commitment issues! I have real reasons for dumping each one of my old girlfriends!

A: besides being a playboy?

Courf: a what?

A: never mind... What are your reasons?

Courf: Eliza was ugly, Nicoletta was stupid, Jaqueline was too gossipy, Monique whined too much, Amelie talked too much, Charotte ate too much, Camille had an annoying laugh, Clara's nose was too big, Juliette was too giggly, Genevieve-

Grant: what were your reasons for dumping Katherine? She was by far the prettiest-

Bahorel: and the wittiest!

Courf: easy, she wanted to get serious, and there's no way that was happening, so I dumped her. I wasn't about to make a- _merde_!

A: what was that, Courf? You weren't about to make a...

Grant: oh! I know! Commitment! Ha!

Courf:* facepalm* that's the last time I let Grant talk me into a few drinks before going on a talk show!

A: interesting... Next question!

Enjolras, if you, Èponine, and Grantaire were the last people on earth and you had to kill one of them for food, who would it be?

E: I'm sure I'd be able to come up with a more logical solution than cannibalism .

A: but if you couldn't?

E: I would.

A: but if for whatever reason, you couldn't.

E: I'm secure in my abilities to think strongly. I would find a solution.

A: but if you had to choose?!

E: I would find another way! Do you have no confidence in me?!

A: well after you led your friends to-

E: the people were supposed to rise!

A: well they didn't! So no, I'm not all that confident!

E: you do not understand, peasant! We were forever remembered! Glorified by Victor Hugo!

A: I recall him portraying you as a cold, heartless, a**.

E: it was fiction!

A: exactly! It. Was. Fiction. Which means that YOU DON'T EXIST!

E: I may not exist, but I'm STILL more famous than you!

A: correction- your CHARACTER is more famous than me... YOU DON'T ACTUALLY EXIST!

E: how many fanfictions have YOU been in?

A: what?

E: exactly! Look at the Les Mis fanfic page, almost all of them are about me! I'm not heartless in those! In fact, I'm awesome!

A: in case you haven't noticed, they're also about Èponine... The one people actually want to read about!

E: hey! Maybe I'm not against the whole Enjonine thing! It gets my points across... Boosts my popularity... Makes people love me... If I built a barricade today, I have no doubt that the people would rise!

A: you couldn't build a barricade today! For the last time- YOU AREN'T REAL!

E: I didn't say I could, I just said IF I did-

A: but you COULDN'T! YOU. AREN'T. ACTUALLY. A. HUMAN. BEING!

Grant: OMG! Did you guys hear that?! I'm not the only one who thinks Enjy's a god! Apollo lives on!

Combeferre: can we please move on! Enjolras- just pick someone not to kill already!

E: This isn't over, Aaron. But fine...Grant-

R: aww, Enjy! I'm touched!

E: don't be, R. I'm just picking you because there's no way I'd eat something that had so much alcohol in it... It'd probably kill me.

R: like 'Ponine would be much better! She's dirty! You'd be eating dirt and disease and-

Èp: hey! I'm cleaner than most who live in my conditions!

R: not saying you aren't-

Èp: yes you are! You're saying that I'm a dirty street rat!

R: I never said that you were a gamin-

Èp: oh! So now I'm a boy, huh?

R: well-

Èp: don't bring up the barricades, Grantraire! You'll regret it for a year!

A: please stop, you're wasting time...

R: You're getting more like your fath-

*cut off by Gavroche punching him in the jaw*

R: ow... You're stronger than you look...

A: guys, cut it out...

Gav: I may look easy pickings, but I've got some bite! Don't ever bring up that man again, ya hear?!

Combeferre: wait, I thought the Amis were the only ones out here right now...

Gav: I AM AN AMIS DE L'ABC!

Èp: and as far as fanfic goes, I am too! So, we have the right to be here now!

A: please guys...

Enjolras: yes, but if we're talking about the book, then you're still Marius's shadow.

Èp: if we're talking about the book, you're a cold,merciless, and heartless person who doesn't hesitate to give an 11 year old a gun that's bigger than he is!

Enjy: if we're talking about the book, then you're an ugly wh***!

A: cut it out!

Èponine: if I remember correctly, the life I lived was forced upon me! It's not like I had a choice! Whereas you made yourself a killer!

Enjy: I had a PURPOSE! Unlike that boyfriend of yours... Mon-

Èp: don't bring him into this; that was all for my father!

Enjy: oh! And I suppose-

A: SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD FROM EITHER ONE OF YOU!

G: haha, Enjy and Èppy got in trouble!

A:YOU EITHER GRANTRAIRE!

Courf: calm down, pretty boy. It's just-

A: PRETTY BOY?! THAT DOES IT! I'M TAKING A BREAK!

*storms out* those idiots...


End file.
